Why am I still here and why am I still thinking that there will be something different to come?
Faith and hope comes into this picture.
Thinking that just maybe it will happen and so I stand there waiting for it, but am I wasting my time?
I don’t know how to explain further other than I want this to come about.
Getting back to, am I wasting my time? No I don’t think that I am.
If I were wasting my time, I would be wasting his too.


He’s been calling me for almost everyday of the week and I think that he misses me but is unable to say it. And it’s ok that he doesn’t because I know that he has a soft spot for affection. I’ve told him that I’ve missed him but I haven’t said it all the time, just once in a blue moon. He already knows how I feel about things and about us, so there is no questioning about it. Like there are no obstacles that will stand in my way or his. He wants to see me this weekend but I hate to say it I’m booked the whole weekend. I mean don’t get me wrong I would love to see him and spend time with him, but my life revolves around me. I have to focus on myself even though I would like to be with him. But I don’t think that I can give up with what I’ve been striving for. And neither can he, which is excellent. Because I know that’s he’s doing what he wants to do in order to be happy and I’m thrilled that he’s able to achieve that. I just want to be that lucky and find what I want to do with my life and be happy with it too. I will never forget the moments that he and I have shared and I wouldn’t change them for a million dollars. There is just something about him that makes me want to try harder to be with him, and maybe this is will come about and maybe it won’t but if I don’t try then I know that I would be very upset with myself.